A step inside the life of Kaity

a year later..

2011-12-20T02:57:00.000-08:00

wow..so its been almost a year since i've last written here. I was feeling thinky tonite so i decided to write some stuff down.

there's so much i want to say....there's so much thats changed...but there's so much thats the same too. I still have issues about being secure in who i am, an i still dont talk about my feelings well..at all, and i still gots fears and personal demons. But the thing is..i'm learning to deal with them, i'm learnin that just keeping them to myself and not sayin nothin wont fix it, an that keepin it to myself wont make it 'go away', all it does is drive me crazy...and others crazy 'round me! i'm learning thats i have people i can talk to, i'm learning i have people that wont quit buggin me till they know whats goin on inside my heart, i'm learnin that those people are never gonna go away, i'm learnin if i run they will follow me.

In mine life...Somewhere between the relationships, the friendships, & the I miss yous..& the I LOVE yous.. somewhere between all of the changing and growing.
I forgot.. I forgot what it meant to cry..i forgot that smiling all the time doesnt mean everythings all sunshine n sparkles. I forgot that pretending to be smart doesnt make you smart.. & that pretending to be ok doesnt make you ok.. I forgot that you cant just forget the past in fear of the future..
I learned.. I learned that I can love.. I learned that its ok to mess up.. & its ok to ask for help..& its ok to feel like crap.. I learned its ok to complain and whine to all mine family n friends for a whole day..That somehow they'll make it all better.. I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just cant have.. I learned that the greatest thing about Life isn't going to be who is the "most popular". Its what you Learn! I learned that sometimes the things we 'forgive and forget' or try to jus ignore are the things which we most need to TALK out..

I HAVE learned thats my family are my family because they've never left my side or stopped loving me...no matter how much of an idiot i've been. I've learned that I cant hide behind a mask...or nobody will be able to get to know the real me. does that make sense? i hope so. at 5:30 in the mornin God knows if i'm makin sense or not! *giggles* But i've learned that things an people change an things go wrong...but life goes on! I've learned that no matter what happens...I've got the most amazing family and friends ever. okay..i'm off to bed. G'nite..or shall i say good mornin. anyway..i gotta get a few hours of sleep however you put it.!

~Kaity :)

2011

2010-12-27T19:44:00.000-08:00

So i keep coming across the question "whats your new years resolution?" and "what do you plan on doing differently in 2011?" so i decided to give it alot of thought and i realized that there is ALOT i want to change about my life. Some i cant control, but there is plenty that i can control. And this can go just as much for SL as RL..mostly RL but there is alot that can go towards SL too ;) I also realize that not everybody is a christian so they wont understand where i'm coming from, But i'm me :)

1.I'd like to over come my fear of failure. My whole life I've feared it more than anything..I used to strive so hard to be the best at everything that it has alot of negative effects on me. I've gotten better about it, but it still has a powerful hold on me and my life.

2. I'd like to be able to let go of things that have happened in my life...losing people that i love. It still holds such a strong grip on me and it really weighs me down and 1/2 the time i dont realize it until i start thinking about it.

3. I'd like to confront my fear of change...and thats pretty much just about everything..losing people i love, losing contact, growing apart...Thats 1 of my main things i'd like to change.

I'd like to confront all of this beginning in 2011 by putting on the armor of God. I am giving myself to God. Yeah I know I've said that before, and i meant it...i just didnt follow though. But thats why this time I'm giving myself to him and him alone! Not him and the world, HIM ALONE!

Life just gets hard some times...it really does. The 1 thing I hate is as Matt Pitt, speaker at the basement, puts it "Whispers in the Dark", and we all have them..here are some examples...

1.) you're not good enough
2.) you're ugly
3.) why even try? you'll just fail!
4.)you'll never amount to anything
5.)you've got nothing to live for

and thats just some of them and starting in 2011 im going to stop listening to the whispers in the dark, they are nothing but lies from Satan and he is under my feet.

It says in Phillipians "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me"

So no matter what change comes my way, .. I will be in right standing with him, trusting him with all of my heart, and giving him my all. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure!

Things I'd like to do differently:
Be a Witness everywhere I go.
Have a more Christ like attitude when it comes to my people im not exactly bestfriends with.
Be WAY consistant in my bible & prayer time.
Love when i dont think i can.

Day 5 - My Dreams

2010-10-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well Its the last day of my 5 day challange, I've let everyone see pretty much inside my heart.

Most would call me Dreamer...a small town girl with Big Dreams. But my dreams aren't to live in a big mansion, and have a summer home on the beach. Marry a Millionair. Be extremely rich..nope, sorry. not me :)

Here we go--

My dreams far exceed anything I could make happen by myself so I know they are from The Big Man.

I want to be used by God. I want to be His hands and feet. I don't want to be seen, only Jesus through me.

I've done missions in several countries and different parts of this country.. I dream of continuing to do missions all over the world.

I dream of leading thousands of people into worship.

I dream of playing the guitar.

I dream of playing the piano.

I dream of changing the world-sharing the love of Christ with the nations.

I dream of being a wife.

I dream of being a mother..and not just to my own babys, i want to adopt atleast 1 or 2.

I dream of opening my own place for abused, abandoned and neglected kids and giving them a safe haven and place to live in as long as needed. The name? Destinys Place!

I dream of watching this all unfold....

Day 4 - My Love

2010-10-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Love is a choice-not a feeling. Therefore, I love many people. But as far as being "in love" there is only one man who has ever held my heart since i was a little girl....Jesus. :) There is truly no greater love. Unconditional.

He gave his all that we might be free. It amazes me everyday. I am so blessed to be called a child of the King.

But.....There is 1 other person who has held my heart, and he's holding it right now. Micah, he truely is someone Amazing. I've waited patiently for a long long time for someone like Micah to come into my life. I didnt go date around to find him either, God brought him to me..at the right time. Its true...All you have to do is Dance with God and he'll let your perfect Prince cut in. Thats what he did with me. I'm still in awe..that God would bless me with someone like him. I cant wait to see what God has in store for our future.

Day 3 - My Family (Extended)

2010-10-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today im going to be talking about the rest of my family..siblings, grandparents, etc. Because they still play a extremely important role in my life. You know...alot of people arent given a good family, or arent really proud of theirs because of whatever reason. But i sit here n think just how BLESSED i am to have the best family in Both lives and am extremely proud to call my own. I may not have a Dad in RL..but that was his choice to leave. So its taken me years, literally..years, to come to terms with that. But since i've come to terms with it, i've realized just how Blessed i truely am.

Day 3 - My Family

Momma: I covered her yesterday but she's so special to me i have to talk about her again. She truely is an Angel and Miracle from God. She's become one of my bestfriends over the years and i have so much respect for her.

JD: my PAIN in the Butt of a brother. You are a idiot at times, justa jerk at other times..but then there are times when i see your softer side. You pretend to be this big tough macho person but really you can have a soft spot and be a big wimp. rofl. My mom will start aimin to tickle his sides and she'll have him cowering in a corner because he's so 'tough' loool. There's a stray cat that i've kinda adopted, well she stays outside but i feed her and stuff and JD is all "dumb cat" blah blah...next thing me n mom know, he named her delilah. rofl. I love it, he claims to be this big tough macho person but he's such a softy. And even though he's a moron alot..he'll kill anybody that tries to hurt me. He almost did when it came to one of my ex's, after one disgusting harassing phone call, my mom had to literally physically hold him back. Even though your a idiot JD..i still love ya.

Nikkie: OMG my RL bestie/bish/wifey/cousin/sissy. LMAO. well okay i think you can take out bish n wifey rofl. BUT if she was in SL thats who she'd be. haha. One of my closest friends and my partner in crime. we were born 33 days apart and she never lets me forget she's older. lol. ALL the memories i have with this girl are crazy..summer vacations, sleepovers, holidays, school, girlscouts, church camp...lolol. everything. We've been through it all together. I miss her so much because she's back in Pennsylvania but our texts and facebook help to make up for it. but i still miss her so much. We've had our share of huge arguments..one time we fought from midnite to 6 a.m..lol. yep 6 straight hours. But we've always had eachothers backs and always always will. I love you forever nikkabiaduganhead rofl.

Nannie and Grandaddy: My nannie went to be with the Lord back in April after a long hard battle with Breast Cancer. But she was a fighter. She was one strong stubborn mule, i promise..i didnt get that trait from her *whistles* Anyway, she was so funny and she taught me how to play rummi and she sat and played it with me for like 7 hours the next day because she got me addicted, I miss her so much. Especially her laugh and her hugs..her laugh was the contagious kind, where when you heard her laugh you couldnt help but start to laugh too. Her hugs were the kind you always wanted after you had a bad day, and she always smelled of lavender bodywash or lotion. Thats my favorite scent too so i get reminded of her daily, not that i'd ever forget her anyway. Grandaddy..OMG, my other partner in crime. We'd work together to get me cookies before supper when i was little. lol. He'd play the piano and let me sit on his lap and pretend i was playing. He was like my dad growing up, so it breaks my heart to see him going down hill the way he is. Its like de ja vu, especially 3 times now...it sucks. But he is so amazing and i love him and i am so thankful and proud to call him my Grandaddy.

Grammy: my Angel, i still cry when i think of her. I miss her so much. She went to be with the Lord in April of 2006 after a battle of Lung Cancer. This death really hit me hard, she was like another parent to me because she helped to raise me and my brother with my mom being a single mom and all. But she was so funny, but boy she was a stubborn ol french woman..but gah i loved her for it. hahaha. She was my heart, and i was her sunshine. Its funny how my best memory with her is sitting out on the front porch with her on the summer nights when i was little and just talking with her, and planting flowers in the garden. So many precious memories with one precious lady. I love you grammy..always!

Aunts and Uncles and Cousins...Love you all, you're so precious and dear to my heart! Grammie Biddo, my great gramma..grammys mom. she started to lose her mind to alzheimers when i was just really little so i never got to know the real her. But i still loved her to pieces. From what im told...as long as im living she'll never truely be gone because im just like her! *smiles proudly*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My SL family, Its extremely big. But im a huge family girl in both lives!

Mommy: once again, i talked about you yesterday but i love you so much i gotta say jus how amazin you are again!

Sissy Candii: She has a potty mouth and can be a brat like me. But thats one reason we get along so well :P but she's so sweet n she's always there for me if i need someone. She's my newest sissy an im so thankful we're family now. I love you sissy!

Sissy Bella/Leesey: I love you soooo much. Thankyou for always being there for me. I know if i ever need you your just a text, IM, Private Plurk, or yahoo IM away. I cant believe you've been my sissy for like 8 months now, give or take a few days. Even when people have tried to come between us we never let that happen. I love you sissy!

Sissy Dork: she's an awesome builder but got me addicted to horses! (nottalking) its her fault! rofl :P she can be quiet but she's so funny and sweet. I love her to pieces and im so thankful i have her as my sissy. I love you!

Sissy Izzy: 3 words, IZZY DID IT! hahaha. I love you like crazy! The way you are addicted to skittles makes me giggle and your overobsessed with plurking. But i miss you, you need to come back and see me! I love you sissy!

Kianna: she started out as my niecey but now we're sissys..she's my special sissy and my heart! She has been there for me in times when i felt so alone. She is so sweet and has a heart of Gold. She's a true fighter and miracle though because for awhile there i thought we were going to lose her and i cried alot. But im so thankful she made it through! I love you my kia!

Aunties: Brydgette, TINK, Sanura, Taelyn, Ema, Miranda, Harlow, Livvy, Laysa, Rachel, Brennie, Petrachaa, Hailey, Meghan..and some of them are Great Aunts. I have a special spot in my heart for each of you and im so thankful to have you in my life. But i have to say my Aunt Taelyn has a really special spot in my heart because she's been in my life the longest and has helped me through one family to the next and always let me stay with her. She is the Best and i love her and im so thankful. Im thankful for all of my aunts though. I love all of them!

Godmommy: my bette! I love you so much you have no idea. I'm so thankful for you! Thankyou for being there for me in times when i didnt know if i had anyone else. RFL at summer camp you literally helped to make me through it because you knew it was a hard day for me. You have one of the biggest hearts and i love you so much!

Mini Great Aunties: Scupples and Fefe...i dont know scupples to well but fefe has been in my life for a long while now. I love her to pieces!

Sissy Cousin Meila: I Love youu!!! You were first my cousin, then my sissy. now you're my sissy cousin and i wouldnt trade you for anything. You've got such a big chunk of my heart and i am so extremely thankful for you! I love you!

Cousins: Sienna, Aisling, Koah, Teagan, Lilly/Elissa..an prolly more that im forgettin...I love you all!

Grammy Faie: I love you soooo much! and im so thankful you're my grammy, she calls me her sunshine baby n i am sooo happy she's my grammy 'cause she 'captured a special spot a my heart!

Nana Emmma: I love you with my whole heart im glad your my nana. This lady is funny n real sweet an she calls me a angel! *sticks out tongue n giggles* love you nana!

Dolly: You were my neicey back when i was Tiffys kid and then you became my cousin..i still consider you family even though im on my new avi with a new name now. You're always special to my heart. I love you!

Mami: My forever mommy, i wouldnt trade my 6 months with her for anything. I love you!

My Daddy always: i still call you daddy simply because thats who you always have been to me and always will be. I've had other daddys before you and after you but none of them have captured my heart the way you have. I love you!

Day 2 - My Mommy

2010-10-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

Today i'm goin to be talkin about my Mommy in SL and my Mom in RL. Funny thing is...Single Parent in Both lives. lol. Well i do have my always Daddy in SL..i call him Dad 'cause he's more to me then just Rich. ANYWAY...here we go.

Day 2 - My Mom

I can honestly say that I thank God regularly for my Mom. I am also thankful to be so blessed to have her. I am learning what pure love is from her in a world where love is often something ugly and distorted. She is a beautiful picture of Christ's love and she is one of my bestfriends. When i was growing up there were times we had all out arguments, i'd tell her 'youre ruining my life' i'd stop up the steps and slam the door, gah..the fact she didnt send me away when i was a teenager shows how much a mother can love her child. She is someone i've always looked up to, she was my mom AND my dad. She has always told me all the time "babygirl chase your dreams" but if i start to get 'too big for my boots' as she always said..meaning basically being on a high horse, she is quick to tell me how it is but not in a way that will hurt my feelings.

My friend Kristy is a Social Worker and she tells me about some of her cases (not names of course) and it makes me want to cry, because i realize not everyone has such an amazing Mom like i do...who will love them, protect them, care for them, motivate them...the list goes on. I mean..when im sick and just really not feeling good, she's the only person i want. lol. If she's at work i'll call her n be like "momma! can you come home??" lol..im 21..gonna be 22 in Feb but i still do that...sad huh? rofl. It breaks my heart into 1,000 pieces to know i'm going to be without her one day, but its the strength and courage she's passed onto me that lets me know i'll be ok when that dreadful day comes.

Mom- She is my best friend. I could only hope to have half of the relationship with my daughter that we have. She is my back bone and we are a lot alike. So much so that we both always must be right. We have had our arguments but nothing can come between us. She understands me and that says so extremely much right there. I learn from her more then i could learn anywhere else. I hope to someday be the woman of God she is. I hope to someday have a heart like hers and have her charisma. She is my inspiration, my rock, my heart, my biggest fan, my mom..

This song i choose for me and my RL mom...because for one its just like her..she's ALWAYS there for me. But also at the end of the song it shows her there being there for her mom in old age..it makes me think so much of my mom and nannie, which of course makes me cry because i miss her so freakin much. Anyway..I love you mom!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Mommy! i love her soooo much. It took me over a year to find her and im sooo extremely thankful. To think i almost lost my chance too. She is so amazin n im so thankful for her. She makes me smile when im sad and somehow when im having a bad day she always seems to make the bad day go away. I cant believe its been almost 2 months now, in SL that can be a long time. lol. But as we say 8/12/2010-forever! She is the best! an yes i know everyone says that! *giggles*

Mommy, thankyou for never judging me, making me smile when i wanna cry, having the best hugs and snuggles, and just being an all around amazing person. Thankyou for everything! I look at you an i see my own personal miracle, someone who's always been there for me and never left.

I'm basically her mini me, she is always telling me "kaity outta my head!!" but i like it up there, im movin furniture :D We're constantly finding out more things we're just alike about and its freaky but so awesome. She tells me she's lucky she has me, but i know I'M the lucky one.

I love you mommy!

Day 1 - My Bestfriends

2010-10-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

This is a challange i took on myself and i think it will be alot of fun. Some of you may remember awhile back we did '7 day truth' on plurk. Lately i've noticed a bunch of my friends on Facebook doing 5 day challanges on notes, where each day they talk about whatever they want..Friends, family, Life..whatever. I think it'll be fun to do this on my blog. But it will cover RL as well as SL, also RL will be talked about first because RL always comes first ;) Also both lives have impacted me and helped make me the person i am today. Even though the ones i know in RL wont ever see this, i still feel i should say it :)

Day 1 - My Bestfriends

I can't say that there have been a lot of people who have held this title throughout my life.
There are some people who that were there in the beginning that will forever hold the title "Best Friend".

There are also "Best Friends" whose title has been changed to "Forever Friend" because no matter where I am in my life, I will always carry them in my heart.

To The ones who Deserve it..

Mary Elaine-girl, i love you more then words can say! you my friend are definitely my forever friend and i love that! You and me have been "starburst&skittles" "best friends" "orbits" and everything else you can think of since we were like 8 :) you my dear are my personal gift from God. We haven't lived near eachother since we were 14 but allll night phone conversations make up for the distance lol. i miss you and i wish that i could see you alot more! i know we dont get to talk as much anymore, but we always pick up where we left off... or in reality skip to the next important thing haha. people say that if your really lucky you might have a hand full of good, real, best friends your whole life,. well your definitely my #1 always and forever :) i hope to see you soon sweet girl!

Micah Joseph (boyfriend)- lol. just thinking of you makes me laugh, and not in a mean way lol. You are my laugh or smile on some days that i feel so alone, you always come through and make my day! I love us because we go much deeper then most "bf/gf" relationships, we are veryy very good friends! i would say best but these days its used too often as we both know lol. You are always there for me no matter what. I say that with confidence forever! Your the best person to be around on a rainy,or down day. I love how we share our hearts for music and God and how they work together. you'll never know how proud of you i am; i could never tell you enough...but here i am once again and not for the last time telling you, IM SOO PROUD OF YOU!!! :) your also a protector and you take care of me which i love about you! i love you forever and always my favorite boy in the entire world!! :)

Heather Nicole-Where to begin? there are so many things about you that i admire and adore. We will cover the most important now tho, the others ill just text ya lol. Your heart! Heather, you have the ultimate best heart; for people, situations, pain, joy, understanding ect.. I mean that 100%. promise me this? you will never ever change it, unless it is for the better of course bc you and I know all about that lol. "friends forever"= us. so im glad that we dont make unreal promises to eachother,not bc there not cute and stuff.. but because we both have figured out how the world works, so we say "i am sooo glad that God has put you in my life for this season." :) i also know that you are there for me all the way, as i am for you!! Heather has been in my life since i was 18, she came into my life when i needed someone the most and has never left. we dont have to talk everyday, or have a million insiders to know where we stand with eachother, or even spend every waking minute together to know we're friends forever, i know this may all sound mean but Heather gets me :) but above all i want to thank you. you have been here for me even when im feeling very low and lonely and no one else can see it! even when you dont have all the words or agree with me your still there, and that is what a true friends does! im so proud of all that you are and all you do. i know life has been tough lately, but stick it out kid.. you are stronger then you know. & when all else fails you've got me and Jesus! i love you.

Kristy Danielle -"....dont HIT me while im DRIVING!!!!" Hahaha, you crack me up! Kristy you are such a joy to be around, you make life easier to live and work much easier for me on some days (from mopping in high hills to finally getting to work with you,yayyy) haha. your my sunshine!!! You are also veryy strong! i admire that about you alot, in all the long talks we've had usually sitting in the car driving too or from the mall i always think that "wow she is awesome!" definitely someone worthy of looking up to! im so happy that your my friend, one of the best on top of that! i know i can trust you which is sadly a big deal for me, but when it comes to you it all comes out lol. i love our shopping days together and splitting steaks at al&micks lol. special special times that i wouldnt trade for anything! keep on keepin on girl, your a mighty woman of God & dont you ever forget it! i love you with all the Cajo love!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now onto SL friends :)

I havent known anybody in SL as long as i've known my RL friends, but they've still gotten so close to me and into my heart and touched apart of my life that im forever grateful for. So many of you have understood me when i've needed to run, but kept me from running completely away and always understood when i needed to get away and start over again.

Maddy Satan: omggg loveee. The very first time i ever met her we brought out the beer and the 2nd time we kicked eachothers asks. It was true friendship right from the beginning! We've been there for eachother through ALOT this past summer, from family issues to friend issues to RL issues. She's the kind of girl who will 'tell you how it is' and not hold back. I love her for it. My God how i love her, she is one of the people who helped me to survive SL this summer and not just walk away. Our nights at maw just hanging out and the all night phone calls till 3 a.m helped me through so much, she's been my rock. I love you with my whole heart maddy.

Chelsea: my kindred spirit! i love you soo much girly and your heart. Chelsea is the type of person where when you meet her, you instantly like her. She never talks horrible about anybody, and will always let me vent to her. I first met her when i became a CSR for her store back last october, so she's been in my life about a year now. What a crazy year its been at that. She started out as just my boss and quickly became my friend, we were even cousins for awhile but i always just saw her as one of my bestfriends. We're the type of friends where we dont have to see eachother or even talk everyday but we know that friendship is still there and we pick up right where we left off, or move onto the next topic. She has been there for me through some really hard times and just let me vent to her and grumble and she just listened and talked to me and i cant thank her enough for it. I love you bunches!

LittleApples Peaches Lemon - The Fruit to my Loop, you been in my life since my very first day of SL and in my life for over a year and what an insane crazy insane year and a 1/2-ish its been. I love her to pieces and is someone i know i can always run to and vent to. When we're together usually we're headed for trouble! I love you soooo much apples. Thankyou for always being there for me, i dunno what i'd do without you because you are such a huge part of my heart. She is someone who will always be apart of my SL and apart of my heart no matter what. We're meant to be together and be friends, Thankyou for never leaving no matter what, Apples + Kaitlyn = Thelma and Louise. I love you so much!

Sissys - Leesey/bella, dork, izzy, and my newest sissy candii/Gwen! all of them have touched my life in a special way and i love with my whole heart and im so thankful for them more then they'll ever know. Love you all with my whole heart!

Then there are the ones who have been kidnapped by RL and i miss like crazy (Frannie, Jamie, and Avery) I miss you like there's no tomorrow :( but our texts and private plurks make up for it. I love you so much and im so proud of all 3 of you.

Family and Forever family, Friends and forever friend. Forevers ALWAYS in my heart!

If you wearnt in this blog post dont stress :) you'll most likely turn up in the next one! *big hugggs*

2010..

2010-08-26T03:42:00.000-07:00

wow..i cant believe 2010 is over 1/2 way over...seems like it just started! I've been thinkin alot lately about what i've learned this year so far..an about what i've gone through. Both good n bad. I've learned so much, I've learned that God is the most amazing person in my life and is the only one i can trust with giving my 100% all. I've learned that there are people in my life who i am extremely thankful for, i've learned that you need to cherish the time you have here on earth with the ones you love the most, I've learned that the minor drama details, are SO not worth getting so bent out of shape about no matter the situation or your place in it. I've learned that if i wasnt thrown so many obstacles in life from time to time, i wouldnt appreciate it as much as i do when i eventually get to it. I've learned that those obstacles and mountains i climb are only making me a stronger person because God will never give me more then i can handle. I've learned i cant do it all on my own, i have GOT to let God help me.. If i had all power...there's no way i could ever depend on him. I've learned that i should never be afraid because God said in the bible 365 times "do not fear" one for each day of the year in my opinion...and if someone says something THAT many times, you know they're serious and know what they're talkin about.

my SL and RL have been the most crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions this year...i've been up and i've been down and i've been goin in circles, its been crazy. I have the most amazing and supportive family though...in both lives! The most Amazing friends...in both lives! and of course the most Amazing Boyfriend...just in RL. :)

Even though 2010 has been a extremely rollercoaster ride for me...i have gained alot of knowledge and love from it though.

This song is called "In Better Hands" by Natalie Grant, my amazzing Aunt Hailey sent it to me, or well told me about the song. It made me tear up and cry when i heard it because it is so special to me.

This song is called "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts. I heard this song on the radio the other day when i was driving down the road and its another song that is so extremely special to me and really describes how i've been feeling.

There's so much more i want to say but its 6 a.m and im sleepy! i need sleep. so Nini

every part of me..

2010-08-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

I wish..

2010-08-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

I wish sometimes i could go back in time n change the past, but i know i cant. But im learning that sometimes, i think you need to fight and be apart for a bit just to realize how much you really do need eachother in your lives. Someone who i used to be so close with, and me had a huge falling out and it was just bad, i thought she hated me and she thought i hated her. But lastnite, she IMd me on yahoo and we talked. We both realized we're too much alike n thats where we knock heads. We're both stubborn, and we both hold in our feelings, and we both run sometimes, and we both have tempers.

Truth is when she defriended me it was like a kick in the gut and i thought for sure we wearnt friends anymore..but God, i love her. Sometimes i wanna knock her uplong side the head, but i love her. We've been through too much to just let our friendship just completely dissolve. We're gonna work on it n re-friended eachother, i just hope it works out. It may never be like it was...but i hope it works out. We both touched apart of eachothers hearts that nobody else has ever gotten to, that says somethin right there i think. This is gonna take alot of work, maybe even more fighting..but if its meant to work out it will.

anyway..dunno if she'll see this or not 'cause she dont gotta blog..lol. but i hope maybe she does.

n i kinda wanna say to everybody..people dont walk away, dont run away. it dont fix anything..trust me.

~love maddie~

Did you know..?

2010-08-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, I'm Sorry, and Help me?

What makes us so vulnerable? Is it our personality, our experience or merely our mindset? Or maybe a combination of everything. Nonetheless, the feeling is horrible. Giving up control, whether on purpose or not, is not such an easy task for me. I came looking for friends. I have found alot! But right now i'm displeased with myself and unhappy. Unhappy with how I have gone about this demanding task my entire life. My path is always the same, as is the outcome, yet for some reason, I am unable to alter it, or maybe just unwilling for fear of reaching the same end. Of course I love the people I meet and the times we have, but I always seem to find at the end to be in trouble, surrounded by people who are angry and/or see me as someone not worth their effort. I contemplate this sequence often, and look for ways to alter it. I am strong... strong willed, strong minded... or am I??? I dont give up control easily, especially of myself, but is this a symptom of strength or weakness? There are good and bad that go along with this characteristic. I've often been told trying to get past the wall around my heart is like trying to get into fort knox or out of alcatraz..and i'm stubborn..some say almost like a pack mule, i cant help it. its just who i am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know everybody says that running away doesnt solve your problems, and most times it dont, i agree. But sometimes you need to run just a little bit, atleast thats how its always been for me. I was very recently asked if i thought running away was the best answer, and in answer to that..really, thats all i grew up knowing. Watching my parents divorce, watching my mom raise 2 kids all by herself and always running away from anybody willing to help for fear of getting more hurt. Watching people my whole life just walk away. Funny thing is i always swore to myself i never would be like that. I made a mistake recently, thinking it was the right thing. I didnt tell some people some stuff that was going on for fear of hurting them or making them feel stuck in the middle, causing drama or making others look bad. But in the end it was the wrong thing to do..i feel bad about it because i really thought it was the right thing. But i was told i should of just came to them and we could of talked it out..because of my stupid mistake and running away a little bit i think i ruined one of the greatest relationships i ever had. Oh..and me saying all this, its not me trying to play victim or want a pity party..im just trying to get all my feelings out. Im pretty bad at it tho..thats 1/2 my problem..not talking about things bothering me, its a huge flaw in me..i've known that my entire life and i been tryin to work on it, but im not perfect.

Sometimes I hold onto things as if life depended on it, sometimes i just let things go and walk away. Thats who i am. I'm learning to choose which battles to fight and which ones to just let rest.

anyway..guess thats all i gotta say for now..i dunno if i even made any sense at all..

lately..

2010-08-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

So i havent blogged in days, truthfully i havent had the time. RL has just taken off and im holding on and going for the ride. lol. I havent been in SL much except for work and the odd lil bit i get here and there..and there's been alot on my mind lately which has kept me away from SL.

One thing thats happened lately is i've watched my circle of friends fall apart, the blames to go around on it and i fully admit some of it was my fault. like i said...im NOT perfect. but it just sucks...i didnt think we'd ever fall apart. you know? But change happens n it sucks but there's nothin you can do about it sometimes, it especially sucks when it went from being fine 1 day and then just changed over night and just got worse. But throughout the last few months i've atleast learned who my true friends are and thats all that matters and im extremely thankful for them!

I just hate when people are quick to assume and quick to judge. I admit i've done it before..but i've realized i was wrong later and apologized.

My friends and family are the most important thing in my life right now! RL and SL. My friends are the greatest and are always there for me, they accept me for me and love me the way I am..flaws and all! I don't have to change for them to love me and accept me! and thats what I look for in a friendship!

My family is awesome. I love my family, they are always there for me and at the end of the day they still love me even if i've been so moody to them all day long! Which has happened lots of times before! But they still Love me and that will never change.

my friends and family (more so RL because nobody in SL knows me as well as my RL friends n family) describe me as a go-getter. I never let anything stand in my way. I set high goals for myself and i don't give up until i reach them. also..they would describe me as hard-headed, strong-willed, sarcastic, and very VERY STUBBORN. So when obstacles have to come in my way and make it even harder, it frustrates me...i mean i dont expect there to be no bumps in the road or mountains to climb...Because God promised a safe landing..not a smooth ride. But when its just constant and it seems you cant catch a break, it gets so overwhelming and frustrating. But by saying that im in no way saying nobody else has their issues either, so im just clearin that up right now. ;)

*sighs*

okay now that that part of my blog entry is done, i can move on to the more better things. Even though RL is so extremely stressful for me lately....Micah is the most amazing person. Nite before last...8-1-2010...Micah gave me a promise ring. eeeee. For those who dont know, NO its not a engagement ring. Its more of a ring that promises one day we will be engaged and then married. He is the most amazzzing man i have ever met. Not once has he ever broke my heart or made me cry unless it was tears of laughter or joy.

He's taking me out friday nite and i have nothing to wear..i have like 150 outfits and i have no idea what to wear...go figure.

okay, im out

~Love Maddie~

The Fight Club

2010-07-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

So today was epic, today I went and hung out with frannie and abby and lizzie, we did some of the back to school hunt, then me, lizzie and abby had to go to RL and when i came back frannie had gotten side tracked and i found her at lil miss chatterbox with lowi, chloe and miss aurora and miss bette. I found Miss Aurora trying to get frannie, lowi and chloes lunch money and well i dont like bullys :P so i started beatin her up, so then chloe started beatin me up for beatin her big sister up. rofl. so we were beatin eachother up.

Picture was made by lowi, it was so funny. me and chloe were crackin up in IMs about it. Miss Aurora had to run so then we made our way to LacieCakes and met up with abby again. Then Miss Bette had to run off to RL and the catfight started. lmao.

Then Miss Liz showed up and she figured if we were goin to catfight, it'd be better to move to a fighting cage instead of at laciecakes :P

[17:53] Object: That's a crushing blow, madelyn Mistwood might need a medic after that one... NOW its WAR!!

After about another hour of beating eachother up we finally wore ourselfs out and were in recovery and just relaxed and talked for a bit.

In the End, I won the battle even tho abby, lowi, chloe and frannie all claim they did. :P

This is a video that lowi made, it made me laugh so hard. I had an awesome day today..

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=b698a57bc5d83662f679d1&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

anyway...guess im out now

~Love Maddie~

Camp stuff part 2

2010-07-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

So i havent blogged for a few days..camp is over now, but what an adventure! Again there's so much stuff thats happened so im goin to just blog a bunch of pictures from the last few days of camp.

This is me, miah, pinkie, chloe, fefe, gracie, dolly, chelsea, and marienne after the formal dance at camp, Chloe took the picture and its gorgeoussss, great pic chloe!

This is me, frannie, and aiyden takin a nap on the beach. Sshhhh Aiyden n Frannie are a item :D

This is me and Chelsea...wow what can i say about this girl? She is so amazing n im so thankful for her, she's 1 of my first friends in SL, she started out as my boss, lol. Now she's not only my cousin but she's 1 of my bestfriends too and im so thankful for her, she's someone i can trust in RL as well as SL and i know i can always trust her no matter what. No matter what chels, no matter how far the distance or the pain, you know you can always turn to me and i'll be there for you. I love you girly, stay sweet!

This is me n Miah at Friendship nite at camp, wow this girl i grew real close with real fast. People will tell you, i dont let people past my wall real easily but some how this girl got past. I loveee her to pieces n im so thankful we're friends.

After Friendship nite, Godmommy n Goddaddy took me scuba diving because we were all so busy that week we didnt have alot of time to spend together. I had fun just hanging out with the 2 of them, i wish keirbear woulda been there but she had to go to sleep in RL. But im so thankful for my Godfamily they are some of the most amazing people in my life and i am beyond blessed to have them.

Before the last day of camp we participated in RFL, it was such a emotional day for me. I lost my Grandmother in RL to cancer not that long ago, I walked for her and in memory of her. We're going to find the cure..i just know it. I bought a Luminary in memory of her to provide hope, I cried alot yesterday..more then i have since she passed away. Yesterday i cried purple tears..

This is the Luminary in hope of my gramma, you cant read the text but it says "madelyn Mistwood is helping to provide HOPE in the name of My Gramma Shirley Dugan" I think when i saw that is when i really lost it i guess you could say, i cried so much. I mean i know im not the only one who has ever lost anybody to cancer obviously, but yesterday it just really hit me hard as im sure it did everybody else too. But then I turned on the TV and i was flipping through the stations and i stopped on TBN and they were playing this special of different churches and singing different hymms and so many of them were songs that my gramma used to sing to me, i know it was her way of saying "hey, im still here and im watching over you"

I took this picture during the hour of rememberence, where of course they played all the songs that make you cry. lol. But yesterday was an all around great day even tho it was such an emotional rollercoaster ride. I found out today that our team, Purple Tears, which is headed by my awesome sister Jill and her Husband Gattz, that we took 1st place in the Team Spirit Award out of 133 teams, which is a very important award given out at RFL. SPIRIT OF RELAY AWARD-TEAM DESCRIPTION: Awarded to the team that emodies the "Spirit of the Relay"

Today was the last day of camp, we had the talent show and award ceremonies. My cabin won most team spirit i think is what it was called, and best decorated cabin. woot woot. Anyways its late an im 1/2 asleep so i will talk with you all later! *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

oh an this is the 2010 Camp Hardknock Summer Camp Video

http://www.blip.tv/file/3898082

camp stuff

2010-07-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

So i havent blogged in a couple days, just havent been in the mood. My RL is just so crazy and stressful right now i dont even know where to begin, but im not gonna talk about it 'cause i dont want everyone else worryin about my stuff, those who need to know, know whats goin on n thats that :)

Camps been.....well its had its ups an downs to tells you the truth. I've wanted to just quit a bunch of times but i know running and just quitting isnt the answer. I've made a couple new friends thats kept me commin back, as well as a few other friends who keep me grounded. I dunno what i'd of done without em. When i'd get pissed off n just wanna log n forget it all they'd keep me from doing that, and they dont even know it. Which is what makes them so amazing.

Since i havent blogged in a couple days im not gonna give you a day by day detailed blog with pictures..so i'll just blog a few pictures and tell you a short story of the last few days.

Today or well...yesterday as you could say now was parent day. I got to see my trial parents and that made me smile big, i missed them so much. There was a dance but stupid sim lag ruined that lol. and then there was a dance contest and my cabin won 2nd and Jaydens cabin won 1st. woot woot.

This is me, frannie n jamie. I've known them since back before christmas, I love them to bits. We've been there for eachother through alot n our friendship has only ever gotten better. Even tho we sometimes go for weeks without talkin, when we see eachother or talk again, its like we pick up right where we left off. I Love you girlys! *big huggs*

This is me n my new-ish friend Miah. I 1st met her at Aunt Haileys birthday party, But we're in the same cabin n our friendships gotten better! She's a real sweet girl n im glad we met n are friends now!

This is ghost storys by Uncle H, picture kinda is blah but it was alotta fun!

This is a buncha us havin a dance party infront a my cabin yesterday it was alotta fun, I love these girlys, they are my heart!

So now that i've caught you up im goin to head to bed. *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

camp..day 2

2010-07-12T07:47:00.001-07:00

okay so yesterday was the 2nd day of camp/1st full day of camp. I started out my day to getting TPd by chloe to dive off a high cliff rofl. Then my day continued to meeting up with some of the girls at the boats and we took off on 1 of them with kyia driving, i know scary right? :P So it was me, chloe, kyia, dolly, abby, and caitlyn on the boat, we all kissed the ground i think when she was done driving. haha.

Then a few of us girls decided to relax on the beach and catch some sun, 'cept i forgot to put on sunscreen, but hey not my fault nobody told me to put it on :P not that i remembered to pack any anyway *giggles*

Then I had to do RL for awhile so i was afk but sitting in a gazebo thing at camp. When i came back my godmommy n goddaddy were announcing this ice cream cone maze thing, well me n godsissy teamed up but then somehow got separated rofl. she made it out but i gave up n had her TP me rofl. Then Me n keirbear decided to go take some pictures down on the beach, but then we had to move because there were some tv people there, i dont remember what they were there for but my sis said they were filming for some SL TV show. So me n Godsissy went over to this bus thing to take our pictures.

Then Miah met up with us and we decided to take a picture of the 3 of us together over by where we go fishing because its so pretty there.

The 3 of us are in the same cabin, its been fun so far. I just met miah a month or so ago maybe at my aunt haileys birthday party n she's really sweet, i cant believe i've known keirsten since winter camp. It doesnt seem like its been that long but it has.

Then again i had to do RL for awhile so i chilled in one of the chairs at the fishing dock and by the time i came back my kenzie bish had stalked me and then we all went to christov's concert. He's an awesomeeee singer. This picture was taken from the sky by my sissy but i stole it from her plurk :P thanks jayden.

Then not long later we had story time and profile reading by Uncle H at the campfire, but i still say profile reading is more fun, just as long as i delete mine before he starts. rofl.

Then after storytime was over i mapstalked my wifey and we hung out for a few mins before we had to go to cabin wars, which cabin 2 won! woot woot!

Ok so yes my camp day 2 blog post was a little bit late but oh well :P now on to experience camp day 3. *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

Camp...day 1

2010-07-11T01:02:00.000-07:00

Ok so today was the first day of camp, i spent allll day gettin last minute stuff and packin last minute items. I dont know why i always wait till the last minute to do stuff. lol. but im not the only one, my sisser jayden was doing it too, guess it runs in the family. We met up after finally finishing packing and sat on the front porch for our parents to get home to take us to camp.

But of course then i remembered something i hadnt gotten so i dragged my suitcase with me to chelseas and I just packed those new outfits into my already overstuffed suitcase right there in the store rofl. I think chels had forgotten somethin too 'cause she was there with hers as well.

Then finally we made it to camp after a long crazy agonizing wait. I'd of taken more pictures of the travel there but i was laggin tooooo bad. lol. anyways, so then later after getting all settled in our cabins we went to the stage for the opening meeting, Jill went over all the rules n stuff for camp but i knew em all so i was textin with a few friends :P

Thats me n kenzie at the openin meetin. So after that was over everybody was laggin so bad and the sim had to get restarted and i crashed. rofl so i decided to sneak home for a few mins to see my trial mommy n daddy :)

But at last i finally made it to camp to stay, and here i am all curled up in my bed ready for sleep. i had a great first nite at camp and im sure i'll have many more!

Sweet dreams and love you all *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

Thursday bloggy stuff

2010-07-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ohai! *sends big hugs to everybody* Sooo today has been an awesomeness day to say the least. Ohh and not that im countin or anythin but camp starts in 1 day and 20 hours!! Woot Woot! I was talkin to daisie earlier today and i told her she could put a pillow in my bunk and that i was diggin holes to each cabin so she could come to mine anytime she wanted 'cause abbys in mine, she laughed and said it was sweet but im lookin on x street for shovels :P *giggles*

Anyways! this mornin i hung out with kyia and keely at kyias store called Foursquare which is the sister store to Jordys store called Hopskotch.

Thats the 3 of us piled up ontop of eachother, we were trying to cheer keely up at the time so kyia hopped up on her head and just for laughs i jumped ontop of kyias head.

Then i had to do RL alot the resta the afternoon even tho i stayed online, then when i came back and got settled my Trial parents were online, Its like a whole new world with them and now having jayden n Jill as my sissers. Im so thankful n blessed, God smiled on me for sure.

Anyways while Jill was off handeling camp stuff, me n my trial parents went and took pictures, Trial daddy took us to this beautifulllll sim, dont ask me what its called because i forget. rofl. but it was gorgeous for pictures.

I made that prettyful collage after editin the piccys i took today :) i decided to upload the collage because im too lazy to upload all 3 of those pictures, lame i know. rofl. Anyways, later we went to this Alice n Wonderland Sim, we went on a ride n it was really neat.

The picture is so not good quality but the ride was fun! Then Trial Daddy had to run off to work so me n Trial Mommy explored the sim some more, there was a funhouse i so didnt like because there were creepy clowns all over it. But after that we found this neat circus elephant that had realllly cute poses in it, so of course i had to plays around it 'cause thats just me :P

Thats me pretendin im in the circus or somethin, not sure. lol. I'd upload all 3 of the pictures i took but again im lame. rofl. Then Trial Daddy called us and told us he was finished up with his work and we met him for dessert at this cute lil cafe thing at a store, again..dont ask me the name of it ROFL. I got high on sugar and not long after this piccy was taken i was bouncin all over the place.

Then they had to run off to plan stuff for their wedding so i decided to write this blog, im about to go work some since i been slackin this week. So Im out for now!

~Love Maddie~

blog stuffs for today

2010-07-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

Sooo...Hi everyone! *big hugs* Im going to start the blog off with announcin im with my kyia bish in cabin 2 n we're captain n co-captain. woot woot!

anyways! early this mornin me n kenzie hung out for a long while, we lounged around on this dead cat thing at camp auctions n then drove around in her barbie RV, it was so cute.

Then after kenzie went to bed i had some time with my bestie/wifey. I havent had maddie kaylee time in awhile so it was nice, we talked alot and we grew even closer. I cant believe its been like 7 months since i've met her. She's my heart an im so thankful to have her in my life.

Then I went and had to do RL for a long time...but when i came back after trying to log into SL for a bajillion hours it seemed, i got to hang out with my frannie face and thats always fun. She makes me laugh sooo much.

That got interrupted because i had to go to school, but i love you godmommy :D After school jayden and Trial Mommy picked me up from school, she gave us milk and cookies after we got home. I swear i think the cookies was as big as our heads *giggles* but they was yummy-licious! *nods* mhm! n then Trial mommy had to go for awhile n me n jayden had some sissy time.

Then later on i went to the cabin announcements, kyia is in with me an so is apples an my godsissy keirsten, oh yea abby is in with us too! i forgot about that till a lil bit ago. woot woot!

Then me n jayden went home n spent some time with trial daddy, but he was afk when we got there so i painted his toenails pinks :P shhh *giggles*

And now me, jayden, jordy, an trial daddy are sitting and playing greedy before bed, its been a real good day *smiles big* Im so thankful my SLife turned this way.

ANNNYYYWAYYYY im fallin asleep n i blogged 'cause jayden said i had to. lol. ok im out *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

trip down SL memory lane

2010-07-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

Happy late 4th of july everyone, i was in RL mostly for the 4th plus been a lil sick so didnt feel like blogging yesterday when i got online.

So i spent some time this mornin with kenzie n kaylee, n then they both went to bed. rofl, n then i went n saw frannie face. i cant believe its been 7 almost 8 months since i met her, wow how time flys! Funny thing is, i first met her on plurk n then we met in world by playing greedy n if i remember right i kicked her ask. :P haha love you frannie face.

So im going down memory lane this mornin n now im spending time with my forever mom an forever gramma, I'm having to sit on my forever grammas lap because she doesnt know how to behave, but thats no surprise to us, she never knows how to behave. lol. but its okays, she makes me laugh.

So.....what else is goin on in my life lately? Me n Miss Loraine decided it'd be best to end our trial, but its okays 'cause we still love eachother n we're still gonna be in eachothers life.

Saturday we leave for camppppp *dances* I remember at winter camp about 1/2 way through i was like "omg i wanna go home, im sick a bein here im never commin back!" then at the end of camp i protested leavin n of course im goin to summer camp! lol. but kyia says that happens to everybody.

I hope im feelin better for camp tho, i've been just blah n not even wanted to be online. I'm goin to the doctor this week sometime so im hoping i get all better before camp, i promised Godmommy i'd go to the doctor so im gonna listen to her! lol...wow, me listening to someone? well Godmommy usually can get me to listen. lol.

Ok i guess thats all i gotta say for now. maybe i'll blog later.

~Love Maddie~

2010-07-04T01:57:00.000-07:00

so the last 2 days have been just BLAH. As much as i want to say to ignore my last blog entry...dont. lol. I logged online tonite to my monster taking the 1 girl back, i mean im all for working things out dont get me wrong but i just dont know how she could after what happened, she claims it was a big misunderstanding but i just dunno..I can forgive but i dunno when or if i'll trust her again...

ANYWAYYY

Now im sitting with miss loraine watching the sunset, she can always make me smile no matter what. Im glad i have her, she calls me her princess, which...if the crown fits... :P

lol just kiddin.

SO on a even more positive note only 1 week till camp!! im so excited and cant wait, Aunt Brit told me that Uncle Harrison is doing storytime/profile reading again. Woot Woot! and that the 2 of them are doing a play, this is going to be veryyyy interesting to see. rofl.

Ok i guess thats all i gotta say for now. nini

~Love Maddie~

no title for this one..

2010-07-03T00:31:00.001-07:00

Ohai, so im not really in the best of moods tonite. 2 Kids who were on trial with my trial moms sister decided it'd be nice to use her and my trial mom to get 6K out of and then split. Im not going to name names because im not that kind of person. A few people already know but its okay because i trust them, I am just really upset about it. I never really had a good feeling about them, especially the 1, from the beginning and now i know why.

I wanted to blog more fun things tonite because i even took pictures today but im just too tired and angry right now to do so...so tomorrows blog will be extra long probably.

"I loves yew mine monster!" *big huggggs*

~Love Maddie~

early morning/late nite blogness

2010-07-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

Ohai! So my RL move is 90% complete, im exausted and sore and im about to crash as soon as i finish this blog. So camp registration is complete and starts in 8 days! heck yeahhh :D i was unable to make it online for registration but my Godmommy registered me for me and im extremely thankful for that. I spent some time with kenzie and kyia earlier, we were cat fighting and it was definitely fun, it makes this angry cat fight sound, its supposed to be with only 2 people but we were all inviting eachother so we were all cat fighting, it was so funny.

Tonite i went to the soft grand opening of the new CCC store, the big grand opening will be after camp. Be there!! The new store is huge and extremely cute and i got lost a couple times, the whole entire sim is cute. There is a Ice cream shop, hair salon, a few empty stores that their still in the process of making adorable, 1 will be a book store that Uncle Harrison (Chels n Dollys daddy) will have story time in once a week and as for the other one their not totoally sure what their going to do with it yet but it will be amazing i can promise you and not to mention my Aunt Brit has her mainstore 'Dandelions' here as well, if you've never been there you need to go there. Its an extremely cute kids furniture store. Well worth the price.

I brought Miss Loraine here tonite because Chels set up a adorable carnival at the new store and i dragged her on all the rides because it was just way too adorable to pass up :D

And with That being said, tonite was fun and im exausted. Sweet dreams, sleep with the angels and nini *big hugggs*

~Love Maddie~

blogness stuff

2010-06-30T03:26:00.000-07:00

Okay, so i wanted to blog before i had to take apart the computer and pack it up for the move today and i wont have internet till tomorrow :(

anyway, so yesterday i was mainly off in RL being busy but i did manage to have alot of fun in the process. Miss Loraine and her sister took me to the grand canyon to go skydiving, i had no idea SL had a grand canyon and it was alot of fun, but of course Miss Loraine made me wear a helmet, blah. So i put on my construction helmet i wore the other day so aunt jill and aunt kendra wouldnt squish my head. lol.

Then later we went back to the house and Miss Loraine found this neat kid carrier thing and we tried it out, i already found my favorite pose and i cant wait to use it agains. While im on the topic of Miss Loraine, let me just say she's amazins! I cant believe i've only knowns her a week but i feel so close to her already, she's so special to me n she takes me on crazy adventures. I dont know yet when i'll be ready to officially trial with her but times on our side, i'm loving every day i spend with her and i love her more everyday. We're so much alike its scary, i found out in the last couple days we both love the Lifetime show Army Wives and that we both root for Auburn Football, i knew i liked her! I told her earlier, its no wonder it was bad with my last family, they were Alabama Football Fans. *lafffs*

Oh and by the way, *points to the picture above* thats Miss Loraine holding me in my favorite pose this the kid carrier thing she got, but the outfit im wearing is Georgie in Blue from the awesome store Glitterbugs, made by the amazzzing Francii Loxely.

"Loveee you frannie face"

Then Tonite i hung out with my kenzie, we ran around on the lil wonders sims and then she took me to this neat place and we went riding around on this turtle under water and then we water danced for like a half hour while we talked on skype. Then we just stood there for like another hour just talking and then we finally went back to the lil wonders sim and ran around some more.

Then I came home and i saw Miss Loraine had put up the cutest study area, which i wont need to use 'cause i make straight A's n all n im real smart :D *giggles* But i had to try it out...

So Yea thats me pretending to my label the body parts homework for Godmommys class...er i mean, thats me working hard on it! yea thats it! *Giggles* And then she also got this adorable chalkboard set to use too, which i of course use to draw prettyful flowers on and make pretty pictures, not do icky math problems n stuff.

Anyways thats all i got time for right now because frannie is in my IM box in SL yellin at me to get off because i have to pack up the computer and the movers are coming in 3 hours. *giggles* okays bye for now

~love maddie~

night in hawaii :)

2010-06-28T23:38:00.001-07:00

So i said if i felt like blogging again i'd come back....so i did. Miss Loraine took me on a special trip to hawaii, but we couldnt rez anything for pictures there so i took her to this other place i could get the group for so we could rez, she helped me to forget all my troubles and helped me to smile. We swam with the fishes, picked grapes and went all over the sim taking pictures. She really has helped me to smile tonite. We are alike in so many ways its not even funny.

But during this field trip, sadly i learned someone who means so much to me is quitting SL becuase she's tired of liars and bull crap and drama. She says we can still text an call eachother but its never the same.

"I loves yew bigger brat!!!"

So after we relaxed in the hammock for a lil bit i drug her all over to take more pictures, she is sucha good sport. I am growing more closer with her everyday, but we're still taking our sweet time.

All in All...Miss Loraine made tonite pretty special for me. kk im out.

~Love Maddie~

crazy day

2010-06-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

So today Aunt Jill held this contest today to see who got a free ticket to camp, well i didnt participate tho because i know im goin to camp. But the object was to jump off this mile high platform and land on this tiny target. well Lillie Button won an thats cool, congrats lillie! :)

i went over to the sim today and aunt jill rezzed this huge whale and me and kyia rode around on it with her in the water, we turned the water white in our environment settings and it looked sooo cool, of course i felt like i was in the movie jaws at one point. rofl.

if you can see it, me and kyia are wearing construction helmets. We had been standing at the bottom of the jump on the target and wanted to protect our heads from Aunt Jill and Aunt Kendra falling on our heads.

Then jayden came around and me, her and kyia were playing with different toy guns, kyia ran me over with a car like 20 times, and then she ran jayden over with a bus and jayden ran me over with a car. and I levitated them both around with a grav gun. was definitely lots of fun today.

Then me, kaylee and kenzie went to work at chelsea's childrens clothes, where we all work and and danced for a couple hours and worked. We always have an awesome time when we're hanging out together.

Now im in skype with my godmommy, aunt jill, uncle gattz, aunt kendra, kyia, kenzie, n aimee listening to aunt kendra prank call a stop n shop n asking for lightbulbs. ROFL. i love these people to death an im so happy to have them in my life.

ok i think im done bloggin now, but if i feel the urge to write i may write more later. ok im out.

~love maddie~

late nite rambling

2010-06-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

ok so this is day 2 of blogging. Today was a rollercoaster ride day, i got a bunch more accomplished at the new place im moving to today, the kitchen is pretty much all ready 'cept for the kitchen table an chairs. i still have some stuff to do here at the old place tho, still have some packin to do, seems like this move will never end. and i found out camp registration is the same day as moving day, thank gosh my godmommy is going to register me for me. yayyy for camp, im so excited. it'll be my first summer camp. i went to winter camp back in january and at the time i never wanted to go back but apparently everybody has those feelings and at the end of camp i didnt want to leave. lol.

I came back home and got online and spent some time with kenzie and kyia, we hung out in this awesome treehouse Aunt Jill made just for kenzie, but she also is selling it.

then i had to go to RL again. blahs..when i came back tonite i went to one of my hideout spots for awhile just to think about things. my SL niecey is real sick in RL n i've known for awhile but i got an update on her an i found out they want to keep her for probably 4-6 months in the hospital still. I know its to help her try and get better but it still upset me, i have only known her since march but she has a huge piece of my heart. I was talking to my godsissy keirsten in skype at the time and she helped me to smile, she's so sweet and i love my keirbear, thankyou for being there for me godsissy. *big hugggs n junk*

Of course i felt lke i shouldnt be as upset as i was for some reason...there's other people in her life that have been in it for longer and have stronger bonds, like her sissy and her daughter and her SL partner. But still the same im so close to her, i love her to pieces and she has been there for me through some crappy stuff, but i've been praying for her and so have alot of other people. Gods got her though, so everythings goin to work out the way its supposed to. Its just hard to not get upset about it tho..

okay enough sad talk and on to more positive stuff, i spent some more time with miss loraine tonite, she got this cool new playset n we tried it out, it was lotsa fun

So anyways i dunno what else to really talk about so i think imma leave it at this..

~love maddie~

first time bloggin

2010-06-27T03:15:00.000-07:00

So....let me start with, hi im maddie *Waves* this is my first time to have a blog n i got one 'cause my bestfriends kenzie n kyia got one n i figured i'd get one too. Even tho i have no clue what im doin. So today was fun, Im very busy in RL right now durin the day because im movin so i havent been able to really be online until evening. I spent some time this afternoon with my Godmommy while she re-arranged furniture in her house an i talked to her, i dont get 1 on 1 time with her very much so when i get it its fun!

Then i had to go to RL, fun right? lol. I came back an i spent alot of the evening with Miss Loraine, we went to this strange sim, i literally think it was called strange sim. or something like that. lol. an we explored the whole place. I'm really getting close to her an i have to thank my bestie/bish/cousin kyia for finding her an sending her my way.

Then we went back to her place and played greedy, my *coughs* addiction *coughs* an she beat me twice, that table is rigged man!

Then my bestie/bish/twinny/cousin Kenzie came callin an we decided to go express our creativity at our Aunt Mel's house, I think we did an awesome job!

Then I finished up the nite with time with my Aunt Rissa, she showed me around the little italy sim and i snuggled with her, i havent seen her in forever so its always amazing when i get to have time with her.

I tried uploadin a picture a us but its bein retarded. lol. so yea like i said this is my first time bloggin an its prolly not any good anyway. lol. ok im out

~love maddie~